DW-666
CATALOG DATAPROGRAM ACCESS: ‘DIRE WARS’
STORAGE FACILITY: SLO-441 FORWARD OUTPOST (“THE TRACKS”)
CONTROL NO: PBI-1987-REC-PHOTO-DW-666
CONTAINER: CAGE 66 / BOX 07
CAPTURE DATE: 1987-10-31
TIME STAMP: UNKNOWN
LOCATION: UNKNOWN
SUBJECT(S): CRYSTAL BALL, D.I.R.E. WOLVES
RECALL DATE: 2026-05-14
PRINT CODE: DW-666
CROSS REFERENCE: N/A
ARCHIVI NOTESThe Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI) conducts and publishes investigations into all kinds of strange stuff, from Bigfoot and UFO sightings to religious cults and paranormal/pseudoscientific claims.
Shortly after CSI's founding, its investigators (including magician James Randi) monitored self-proclaimed psychic Uri Geller. While Geller claimed supernatural powers on television, CSI investigators closely observed him performing his famous spoon-bending and mind-reading routines using traditional stage magic and mentalism techniques.
Following that infamous investigation, the CSI followed the same template to investigate Crystal Ball. Three of it’s top investigators were assigned to the case. They followed Cobra’s hypnotist from Eastern Europe to Bangor, Maine and back again for months in an attempt to debunk his dubious claims of being a “seventh son” (In European, Scottish, and Romani traditions, seventh sons (and seventh daughters) are born with a legacy of mysticism and clairvoyance).
One by one, all three investigators met with tragic and untimely deaths.
Diane Witlowe, a PhD in Experimental Psychology from Oxford, was viciously mauled by her five house cats after they turned on her during their evening feeding. The horrific attack was sadly broadcast live to a cat lovers group on Facebook and subsequently shared all over the internet.
Samuel P. Fish, a world-renowned scientific skeptic and self-proclaimed “debunker”, was also an adventurer and avid balloonist. He had piloted balloons since he was a teen and had successfully completed three non-stop flights around the world. On his 58th birthday, Fish was halfway through his latest world-crossing flight when his balloon was inexplicably struck by lighting even though there were no storms within miles of his location. His balloon plunged almost 30,000 feet into the Atlantic Ocean. Fish and his copilot and childhood friend, Eugene Perlman, miraculously survived the fall. However Fish became tangled in the shredded balloon nylon directly over a large shiver of sharks, He was devoured within minutes of hitting the water. Perlman survived only by flipping the balloon basket right side up and taking refuge inside of it.
The last surviving member of the investigative team, Jared William Stanforth, who was a regular on the paranormal skepticism speaking circuit, had become so paranoid by the deaths of his peers that he barricaded himself inside his home. He developed an obsessive fear of being poisoned and refused to eat food prepared by anyone but his wife. When she became ill and was hospitalized, he starved to death. At the time of his death, he only weighed around 76 pounds.
Immediately after the deaths, the CSI closed the investigation into Crystal Ball, destroyed all evidence associated with it, and now disavow that any such investigation ever existed.
ATTACHMENTS > PHOTOINTTECHNICAL NOTESCAMERA: Canon EOS R5
LENS: Canon RF 50MM F/1.2 L USM Lens
SHUTTER:4 secs
APERTURE: f/16
ISO: 100
